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53 articles in the Hoenipedia encyclopedia.
| Title | Category | Summary |
|---|---|---|
| 420 Blaze It Leaderboard | — | A single, **never-updated, never-repeated** scoreboard of group-chat message counts posted by [[Evan Bbbender]] on **202… |
| A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms | Event | A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms is the prestige television adaptation whose imminent release made Cullen Conway feel a fe… |
| Almost sent | — | The chat's recurring meta-acknowledgment that a member was beaten to posting a particular tweet, video, or link by anoth… |
| Amanda | — | The partner of [[Cullen Conway]] and the only non-member to receive routine mention in the Newfound Glory Hole. Famously… |
| Birdie Time | — | A Portland bar that admits minors and the de facto post-work watering hole of the Newfound Glory Hole, especially during… |
| Black Collar Crime | Doctrine | Black Collar Crime is a labor-economics framework coined by Cullen Conway on April 9, 2026 in response to Evan Bbbender'… |
| Blutos | — | A Portland, Oregon, Mediterranean sandwich shop and the unofficial home venue of the **[[Hoen Lunch]]**. Subject of the … |
| Brian's Dots | Lore | Brian's Dots refers to the running joke surrounding the appearance, duration, and apparent significance of Brian Ambuel'… |
| Charlie Kirk | Person | Charlie Kirk is the political commentator whose recurring appearance in chat tabs, urinal anecdotes, and karaoke proposa… |
| Cheeky Pint | — | A short, sanctioned, and slightly British-affected afternoon drink, almost always paired with a [[Birdie Time|Birdie Tim… |
| Corn dog (event) | — | An annual ceremonial **corn dog sharing event**, attended by **[[Matt]]** whenever he is in town, and the only food even… |
| Crypto Scam Pardon Theory | Doctrine | Crypto Scam Pardon Theory is the chat's working hypothesis that crypto-related offenses are de facto auto-pardoned by th… |
| Cumtown (sub-grouping) | Sub-grouping | Cumtown is the chat sub-grouping consisting of Cullen, Evan, Matt, and Dan — named by Daniel Miller on March 13, 2026 te… |
| Dimos | — | A Portland pizza-by-the-slice establishment and the late-arriving challenger to **[[Blutos]]** for the role of default [… |
| Dog Testicle Discourse of May 13, 2026 | Event | The Dog Testicle Discourse of May 13, 2026 is the May afternoon exchange in which the Newfound Glory Hole responded to a… |
| Epstein discourse | — | The longest-running geopolitical-tabloid thread in the chat, with **47 messages** spanning **2020-11-20 → 2025-08-11**, … |
| Espresso Martini Month | Event | Espresso Martini Month is the chat's collective name for March 2026, when Kyle Derrick observed that the Portland calend… |
| Evan's iOS sticker collection | — | The iOS Messages sticker pack belonging to [[Evan Bbbender]] and, by formal claim of dibs, the **inheritance of [[Daniel… |
| Evan's iOS Sticker Collection | Lore | Evan's iOS Sticker Collection is the cache of iMessage stickers held by Evan Bbbender and called dibs on by Daniel Mille… |
| Fuck Off Friday | Doctrine | Fuck Off Friday is the maximalist hoen doctrine first articulated by Evan Bbbender on March 20, 2026, prescribing a Frid… |
| Grand Fir | — | A Portland brewery and the Newfound Glory Hole's preferred "double dip" venue — a hoen location chosen specifically beca… |
| Hail Mary (film) | — | A motion picture that, as of the publication of this article, no member of the Newfound Glory Hole has seen, despite **f… |
| Hat Yai | — | A Portland Thai fried chicken restaurant occupying the **old Pok Pok building**, recently elevated to a chat-canonical [… |
| Heather (disambiguation) | — | The proper noun **Heather** appears 14 times in the corpus and refers to at least **two distinct entities** — a person (… |
| Hoen | — | The defining word, practice, and worldview of the chat presently known as the **[[Newfound Glory Hole]]**. Originated as… |
| Hoen Lunch | — | The formalized institution of the **[[Hoen]]** — a midday gathering of Newfound Glory Hole members at a restaurant of ap… |
| Hoencession | Doctrine | Hoencession is the chat's term of art for a multi-week period of weak hoen demand, coined by Evan Bbbender on February 1… |
| Hoendor | Lore | Hoendor is the imagined polity that calls for aid whenever the Newfound Glory Hole is at risk of an incomplete hoen — a … |
| Hoening | Practice | Hoening is the central liturgical practice of the Newfound Glory Hole — the verb, noun, and posture of midweek convening… |
| Hoenipedia | — | This encyclopedia. A self-hosted, build-time-rendered Wikipedia clone covering the iMessage group chat presently known a… |
| Iran war discourse | — | The chat's longest-running geopolitical thread, beginning early March 2026 with what is alleged to have been friendly fi… |
| Jerry's | — | A Northwest Portland bar with patio seating, frequented (in spite of substantial in-chat opposition from [[Evan Bbbender… |
| Jerry's Tavern | Venue | Jerry's Tavern is the inside-on-a-sunny-day venue of the Newfound Glory Hole — divisive, occasionally weaponized in spou… |
| Laurelhurst | Venue | Laurelhurst is the default hoen lunch venue of the Newfound Glory Hole — the establishment most frequently invoked in ch… |
| List of chat names | — | Chronological list of every name the iMessage group chat presently known as the **[[Newfound Glory Hole]]** has had sinc… |
| Loyal Legion | — | A Portland beer hall and the rare venue the Newfound Glory Hole has needed to disambiguate by **branch** (airport vs. so… |
| Mama Khouri's | Venue | Mama Khouri's is the Mediterranean alternative regularly proposed alongside Blutos when Evan Bbbender declares himself '… |
| Mmm alcohol | — | The chat's most reliable two-word liturgy. A traditional **interjection** of approval, originated by **[[Kyle Derrick]]*… |
| Newfound Glory Hole | — | The current (and 22nd known) name of the iMessage group chat that is the subject of this entire encyclopedia. Renamed fr… |
| Portland | Location | Portland, Oregon is the chat's primary city of operation — site of every hoen lunch venue and the implicit geographic re… |
| Ropes | Lore | Ropes is the chat's longest-running and most-elastic running joke, beginning as a culinary metaphor about custard, expan… |
| Sandwich Week | — | A Portland food event held in early March, observed by the Newfound Glory Hole almost exclusively through the personal c… |
| Sheets Kingdom | Practice | Sheets Kingdom is the March Madness–adjacent hoen variant first proposed by Matt on March 18, 2026 and immediately ratif… |
| Shidding | Lore | Shidding is the chat's preferred orthography for the bowel movement, first attested in the corpus on January 29, 2026 in… |
| Sir Penis the Hard | — | A medieval knight invented by [[Evan Bbbender]] on **2026-02-07** in a single three-word message and never mentioned by … |
| Steam | — | A Portland venue with **a logo that goes hard af** (per [[Kyle Derrick]]) and the only establishment in the corpus to ho… |
| Strait of Hormuz | Lore | The Strait of Hormuz is the international waterway whose recurring appearance in the chat — first as geopolitics, then a… |
| Sunday Sauce | — | A Portland restaurant whose meatball sub the chat has, over the course of four months, proposed but never been recorded … |
| The Garlic Bread Martini | Beverage | The Garlic Bread Martini is the alleged Sunday Sauce dinner-menu cocktail that Cullen Conway became the leading apostle … |
| The Kirk Method | Doctrine | The Kirk Method is the chat's name for the practice — first articulated on January 29, 2026 — of leaving an unflushed re… |
| The Malik Willis Prophecy | Event | The Malik Willis Prophecy is Evan Bbbender's March 9, 2026 confession to Matt — on Matt's own birthday — that he had bec… |
| Three Martini Lunch | Doctrine | The Three Martini Lunch is Cullen Conway's May 13, 2026 declaration that the summer 2026 Newfound Glory Hole hoen calend… |
| Two and a Half Men | Sub-grouping | Two and a Half Men is the chat sub-grouping consisting of Matt, Evan, and Dan, named on March 13, 2026 by Daniel Miller … |