Sir Penis the Hard
A medieval knight invented by [[Evan Bbbender]] on **2026-02-07** in a single three-word message and never mentioned by name again, despite remaining the chat's preferred form of address.
Sir Penis the Hard
A medieval knight invented by Evan Bbbender on 2026-02-07 in a single three-word message and never mentioned by name again, despite remaining the chat's preferred form of address.
Sir Penis the Hard is the most-cited fictional character in the Newfound Glory Hole, in the sense that he is cited exactly once and casts a long enough shadow over the chat's discourse that no member has felt it necessary to cite him again. The corpus contains his single appearance:
"Sir Penis the Hard" — Evan Bbbender, 2026-02-07
The message receives no immediate reactions. The next day, Evan posts the related but distinct "Sex penis", which is generally considered to be a different work in the same canon.
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Influence
Sir Penis the Hard is the proper noun that explains and stabilizes the chat's broader convention of addressing its members as "penises". Evan, on 2026-03-30:
"Any of you penises want to see Hail Mary next weekend?"
The vocative penises has appeared repeatedly in the corpus since, and is widely understood to descend, philologically, from the founding 2026-02-07 message. (See also: Hail Mary (film) for the broader context of this particular message.)
Theological status
On 2026-04-09 Evan posed the great unanswered question of the chat:
"Penis, or dick?" — Evan Bbbender, 2026-04-09
No resolution has emerged. Both terms remain in active rotation. The encyclopedia takes no position.