Espresso Martini Month
Espresso Martini Month is the chat's collective name for March 2026, when Kyle Derrick observed that the Portland calendar had granted the espresso martini an entire month — capping a four-year arc of espresso-martini references in the corpus stretching back to 2022.
Espresso Martini Month
Espresso Martini Month is the chat's collective name for March 2026, after Kyle Derrick observed at 17:57 UTC on March 4, 2026 that the calendar had granted the espresso martini an entire month. The doctrine caps a four-year history of espresso-martini citations in the corpus, dating to 2022-07-23.
Pre-2026 history
The earliest espresso-martini reference is a Cullen Conway field report from a steakhouse on 2022-07-23:
"I'm at a steak house drinking an espresso martini" "The espresso martini was shockingly awesome" — Cullen Conway, 2022-07-23
The second message — shockingly awesome — is the corpus's most positive single product review, qualified by no other adjective. Cullen returned to the form in March 2025:
"Person next to me on the flight is drinking an espresso martini, ripping a Zyn, and playing blackjack on their phone" — Cullen Conway, 2025-03-28
Kyle Derrick adopted the form in 2025 and discovered the chat's preferred local variant:
"That after ours place has a henny espresso martini" — Kyle Derrick, 2025-08-23 "Also henny espresso Martini fucks hard af" — Kyle Derrick, 2025-11-11 "Was ist das? Espresso martinis?" — Kyle Derrick, 2025-12-25
By the end of 2025 the espresso martini is, in the chat's vocabulary, a recognized quantity.
Founding text
"March is wild. Portland dining month, sandwich week, espresso martini month." — Kyle Derrick, 2026-03-04
Evan Bbbender immediately escalated:
"Espresso martini MONTH" "I'm sort that is crazy espresso martinis get as much of the calendar as African Americans and 30x indigenous peoples." — Evan Bbbender, 2026-03-04
The capitalized MONTH in Evan's second message is held by chat consensus to be the canonical form of the proper noun.
Subsequent evolution
Three days later, Kyle proposed the related innovation of:
"I'm making a boy martini." — Kyle Derrick, 2026-03-07
The composition of the boy martini was not specified.
By Daniel Miller's 2026-05-13 "Espresso martini and a chicken parm please" the term has been wholly subsumed by Cullen Conway's Three Martini Lunch manifesto, which reframed the same impulse on a calendar basis as a summer phenomenon rather than a March one.