Newfound Glory Hole
The current (and 22nd known) name of the iMessage group chat that is the subject of this entire encyclopedia. Renamed from **[[List of chat names|Render Unto Steezer]]** by [[Kyle Derrick]] on **2026-05-09**, four days before this encyclopedia was first built.
Newfound Glory Hole
The current (and 22nd known) name of the iMessage group chat that is the subject of this entire encyclopedia. Renamed from Render Unto Steezer by Kyle Derrick on 2026-05-09, four days before this encyclopedia was first built.
The Newfound Glory Hole is the iMessage group chat whose corpus this encyclopedia documents. It is a seven-active-member thread (plus one early member removed in 2020) that, between 2020-07-07 and the present, has produced 114,542 decoded messages across the union of three sibling chat ROWIDs in ~/Library/Messages/chat.db (3, 2203, 2204). The current name has been in effect since 2026-05-09 and is the most recent of at least 22 distinct names the chat has had — see List of chat names for the complete chronological catalog.
The name
The current name combines:
- The pop-punk band New Found Glory, whose 2002 album Sticks and Stones contains the song "My Friends Over You" (no member of the chat has ever referenced this song in the corpus);
- The architectural feature known as a glory hole.
It is the consensus position of the encyclopedia that this naming combination is, in the language of trademark law, descriptive.
Naming history (recent)
Discussions of the present name first appear on 2026-02-28, when Cullen Conway poses:
"Or maybe glory hole?" — Cullen Conway, 2026-02-28
Kyle Derrick responds within minutes with what is here considered the chat's institutional motto:
"One drink and straight to the glory hole" — Kyle Derrick, 2026-02-28
The most explicit naming statement is by Max Lieberman on 2026-05-08, simply: "New found glory hole" — which received love-tapbacks from both Daniel Miller and Kyle Derrick. The construction "new found" (two words) preserves the band's original spelling. The next day, 2026-05-09, Kyle Derrick formally executed the rename.
For all earlier names — Rugged Outdoorsmen, The Swillmarillion, Weekend at Hoenies, Oops, All Hoeny Boys, the entire 2023 Midsummer Night's Steam trilogy, Render Unto Steezer, and 14 others — see List of chat names.
Membership
Seven active senders are documented in the chat across its ~6-year history:
- Matt (founding cohort; ~17,500 messages)
- Evan Bbbender (founding cohort; ~41,300 messages — most of any member)
- Kyle Derrick (founding cohort; ~21,000 messages)
- Cullen Conway (founding cohort; ~18,900 messages)
- Daniel Miller (founding cohort; ~12,700 messages)
- Brian Ambuel (joined approximately 2023-06-16; ~1,700 messages)
- Max Lieberman (joined 2023-02-03 with welcome from Cullen Conway; ~1,300 messages across two iMessage handles, see Max Lieberman)
One additional handle — sometimes referred to in early messages as Matt O. — was a member from the chat's first message until 2020-08-21, when Kyle Derrick removed him with the message "Matt o, I am gonna drop you from this convo so as not to bother you with unneeded texts." He is not the same person as the surviving Matt (Matt W.) and is currently unidentifiable in the data because his iMessage handle was severed when he was dropped.
Statistics
See the Statistics page for a complete inventory. Headlines:
- Total decoded messages: 114,542
- Date range: 2020-07-07 → 2026-05-13
- Cumulative tapbacks: see Statistics
- Most-used non-stopword: hoen (and its parent hoeny), 1,419 occurrences
- Distinct chat names recorded: 22