Jen
The wife of [[Matt]] and mother of [[Dame]]. Mentioned in the corpus **173 times** across all six years and routinely cited in Matt's logistical messages from **2020-08-21** to the present.
Jen
The wife of Matt and mother of Dame. Mentioned in the corpus 173 times across all six years and routinely cited in Matt's logistical messages from 2020-08-21 to the present.
Jen is the wife of Matt and the mother of Dame. She is, by message volume, the third-most-mentioned non-member in the corpus (173 hits) after Heather (300+) and Amanda (138). Her appearances are concentrated in Matt's logistical traffic — vehicle borrowing, schedule deconfliction, and Dame logistics — and span the chat's full six-year history without break.
First mention
The earliest mention is by Matt himself on 2020-08-21:
"I can drive if bender leaves Jen his car again I'm sure" — Matt, 2020-08-21
The construction — Jen's car arrangements as Matt's logistical baseline — is the form that recurs hundreds of times over the next six years. Within weeks the chat has settled into a stable practice in which any Matt-related logistical question is parsed first as a Jen logistical question.
Vehicle politics
A cluster of late-2020 messages establishes the chat's running gag about vehicle borrowing. On 2020-12-09:
"I can drive if someone leaves Jen a car" — Matt, 2020-12-09
Followed within two minutes by:
"Cullen would have to leave his car then, or I'm sure Jen wouldn't mind borrowing the tezla" — Matt, 2020-12-09
"O we will. And Jen will get her day in the Tez" — Daniel Miller, 2020-12-09
The "Tez" — Cullen's Tesla — is therefore the chat's first attested loaned-out vehicle, with Jen as its first-listed beneficiary.
Pregnancy and Dame's birth
Across late December 2020 and early January 2021 the chat tracks Jen's pregnancy with Dame in real time:
"Oh boy Jen just saw the dr and it might be on as soon as next week" — Matt, 2020-12-30
"It would really be ideal if this child could come before the playoffs start so I don't have to worry about watching the bills while Jen is in labor" — Matt, 2020-12-30
Kyle Derrick follows up four times across the next week ("When is Jen due?", "Isn't Jen due to start labor at potentially any moment?") until Matt finally posts on 2021-01-08:
"Need Jen to pop out this kid so I can take my ski leave" — Matt, 2021-01-08
Evan Bbbender memorializes the moment on 2021-01-09 with what is, the encyclopedia notes, the chat's most concise Old Testament reference:
"You're about to recreate history with Jen" — Evan Bbbender, 2021-01-09
"Dame-free"
By 2026 Jen has become the implied second variable in Matt's logistical algebra. Evan Bbbender introduces the formal compound on 2026-02-19:
"Heather is having a craft night Friday i think are you dame-free?"
Matt confirms within minutes ("Yeah Dame is staying at grandmas") and on 2026-03-28 files the form's most complete instance:
"Jen is hanging with Heather and dame is going to grandmas so I could be down for a fuckabout if people are around" — Matt, 2026-03-28
The construction Jen is hanging with Heather is the chat's preferred shorthand for Matt is unsupervised; it has produced more documented hoens than any other social arrangement.
Recent appearances
- 2026-04-03 — Matt: "Jen was talking about seeing a movie tonight" — flagging a one-line opening for hoen logistics, never closed in the corpus.
- 2026-04-15 — Matt: "Would cop but Jen would never let me leave the house in it" — establishing Jen as the chat's preferred final-veto authority on Matt purchases.
- 2026-02-25 — Kyle Derrick floats a question that has not been answered in the corpus: "You don't get weekly hue checks from Jen?"