Friday, January 8, 2021

You more from column A or column B?

T sizzle

I’m more at this phase

Bro

That guy would get the vax

Never*

Absolutely not

Doesn’t mean I haven’t assumed that level of peak performance

I think that guys antifa

Remember when we could go to restaurants and get really drunk

That was so sweet

Yeah but I probably won’t be able to until summer

O

Did he now

How’d that happen

GOT EM!

You guys ever heard Superman by goldfinger?

Um, whoa

Breaking news!

Homophobia on the internet

Did somebody say Steam?

Apparently PFF tweeted earlier that Allen was the MVP but deleted it

Yeah but Robert Tonyan didn’t make the pro bowl

Awards don’t matter

Fuckers who were in the Capitol yesterday speaking to police/media today

https://twitter.com/adamzherman/status/1347005591718404100?s=21

...I am

Looking at photos from steam make it look like a straight fuck fest

Excuse me sir, one fuck water please

Spunk always does it for me

I go set

I go dry

I’m sorry

What if you extra honee boy

But they made three seasons!

Yeah I was jk

I have no interest in such a show

I bet there are some gen xers that love it

Guys are we going to have a virtual playoff party or what

Or a little gsex?

Virtually transmitted???

Oh fuck

I’ve been zooming a lot

You better Check with Heather if you’re allowed to have your balls back

got em!!!

To her it appears to be very black and white

Which would make me think having people over right now would be a no go

Guys, Evan said virtual

Virtual playoff party

virtual gsex?

I did

Oh

Yeah it’s called cyber

Overlooked that

So did Dan

Still not interested

That’s why I made my zoom transition joke

It’s called Austin Cybery

Transmission

But I guess you could transition too

With the senate flipped, we are def getting another stimmie right?

Probably not

lol nahh they’re already backing off that and they’ll use Joe Manchin as an excuse

I’ll say yes

I’ll hold off on filing my taxes longer this year

I don’t want to miss a hand out

Or do I?😈

It’s ok Dan

It’s super wild card weekend

I love being confused and aroused

Anyone overeating tonight?

Likely

Topping my calorie surplus off with alcohol

And psychosis

There we go that’s the stuff

I think I’m gonna place some prop bets this weekend

Anyone trying to take a day off next week and rip?

Need Jen to pop out this kid so I can take my ski leave

Lol

I’m down to try, as long as it’s not a...

🍍

She was having a lot of contractions last night I thought it might be goin down but still nothing

Definitely sneak up on her an give her a scare then

Yeah rain would be the only thing that would stop me

At this point I’m not going to the hospital until after the Bills game

She can cork it or something

Lol

At least they’ve got the early game

So you’ve got a good chance

Matt, what’s your level of outrage on Cole Beasley not being All-Pro?

The chip on Cole’s shoulder grew 3 times that day

A little late for grinch references but it’s clever so I say bravo

Any pizza recs outside Bridge City, Ranch, and Lovelies?

Pizza jerk my guy

Lil caesars

I might pizza scholls this dick

It’s a dank pizz

So the FBI found Napalm in a van during that insurrection?

They had napalm ready to go??

This really emboldens me to commit terrorism

Being white n all

Sounds about white

What are you going to terrorize? Homeless camps?

His toilet

I was thinking white person committing terrorism against white nationalists

Does that make the whiteness cancel each other out?

https://twitter.com/jrehling/status/1347600414410039296?s=21

Here ya go, Matt

I think enough republicans will get on board to push them through tbh

Lol

Joe Manchin says the democrats can’t do anything so they won’t do anything for the next 2 years until they’re punished for not doing anything by losing their majoritie

West Virginia’s can definitely use 2k

Rinse and repeat baby

I would have thought WV would have GOP senators

That’s very surprising

Ah. One is

I wonder what the people who elected manchin think

If it wasn’t Manchin there would be another token D to take the fall

The secret is the D’s don’t actually want to do anything useful

Evan, let’s hear a token D joke

I was more interested in Matt’s D reveal above

Eh I mean there is a point where employed people probably don’t *need* that extra $2,000

Penis

Extending unemployment benefits is much more important

You’ve failed me, Evan

It won’t be the last time

I assure you

My buddy is reading trump's statement about not going to the inauguration as another "call to action." As in him saying, "Hey guys, I won't be there. Hope nothing bad happens wink wink.

Perhaps he saw that on Parker?

Parler

Wow, trump was suspended from Bofa

But he still got bofa deez nuts in his mouth

Damnit

You swooped my joke!!!

You bastard!!

What is bofa?

Bofa deez nuts on the small of your back!

https://twitter.com/samelpan2/status/1347392589582897155

aw not as much fun when it doesn’t show the BLACKED.com part

Man that is good

I clicked on it and saw blacked.com and had a giggle

But they should definitely condemn that violence!!

You see Ben and Jerry’s response?

No but link me

I saw it on Shaun King’s insta

Also don’t follow

K

That’s all the effort I’m putting in

That’s minimal and disappointing

More than you

No love for the Bills separatist bros?

I think it’s chill

Matt send me some jax so I can jack tomorrow

You’re going to jack regardless

I hear of old man Rivers wins he’s going to sire another Christian knight

If old man Rivers wins I’m going to make a bunch of sacrifices to the devil

In his name

https://www.montgomeryadvertiser.com/story/news/crime/2021/01/08/alabama-man-lonnie-coffman-arrested-11-molotov-cocktails-fire-arms/6586697002

70 year old dude with 11 molotov’s ready to go that shit rules

https://twitter.com/RawStory/status/1347610287218843652

Oof

Oh sweet irony

https://twitter.com/TompOfficial/status/1347565705466667008

Anyone need Columbia guest pass codes

I had to go to work today and there’s a stack on my desk

Always

How many you need my guy

I donno a couple?

Race to see who can use those before Matt gets the chance

https://twitter.com/ULTRASLUT/status/1347634116758564866

https://twitter.com/d_haggar/status/1347663941988585472?s=21

https://twitter.com/willsommer/status/1347645540650135552

So, have they had their hands slapped or the book thrown at them?

Like, black guy with a gram of marijuana? Or white guy shooting someone in Kenosha?

They have to taser their own balls

I’ll eat Sydney powells pussy

OW DADDY MY PEBIS

Chewing the lab is the name of the game

Astrolabia

God it was so ahead of it’s time

Dave Itzkoff is a p good follow on Twitter for topical Simpsons memes

It’s his main thing and pretty much always on point

https://twitter.com/ConnorSouthard/status/1347634317745295366

God that’s also excellent

Trump permanently banned from Twitter

Lol

That’s his worst fucking nightmare

Yeah bro bro

How long until he has a burner

Woooowowow