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Johnny

A recurring fantasy-football opponent and irl friend in the chat's circle, mentioned 32 times across 2020-09-28 → 2022-09-23. Most-cited as the impassable kicker-substitution opponent who "won't change his kicker" (Kyle Derrick, 2020-10-26).

Johnny

A recurring fantasy-football opponent and irl friend in the chat's circle, mentioned 32 times across 2020-09-28 → 2022-09-23. Most-cited as the impassable kicker-substitution opponent who "won't change his kicker" (Kyle Derrick, 2020-10-26).

Johnny is a non-member figure who appears in the corpus principally as a fantasy football opponent and tangential social presence in the founding cohort's broader Portland circle. His name appears in 32 distinct messages across 2020-09-28 → 2022-09-23, after which he largely disappears from the corpus.

Fantasy-football Johnny

The earliest in-corpus mention is by Evan Bbbender on 2020-09-28 in fantasy-football scheduling:

"I think I have Johnny next week" — Evan Bbbender, 2020-09-28

The construction "I have Johnny" — fantasy-opponent-as-direct-object — is the chat's preferred grammatical form for the league's matchups. Daniel Miller follows up with the chat's first Johnny-strategic critique:

"Yeah but Johnny took a dive and didn't field a flex player to help you" — Daniel Miller, 2020-09-28

By late October Johnny has become the chat's exemplar non-strategic fantasy player, with Kyle Derrick supplying the canonical observation on 2020-10-26:

"Though Johnny could swap a non bye kicker in at any moment" "Also, Johnny won't change his kicker" — Kyle Derrick, 2020-10-26

The construction — Johnny could swap, but Johnny won't — is the chat's preferred shorthand for any fantasy opponent whose tactical inertia is itself a strategic asset.

"Johnny is edging me hard"

Daniel Miller's 2020-10-27 message is the chat's first attested combination of Johnny with the Edging register:

"Johnny is edging me hard" — Daniel Miller, 2020-10-27

Kyle Derrick's same-day clarification ("You have edged him" / "You're edging him") is the corpus's clearest example of the chat's preferred who is doing the edging disambiguation grammar — a question that, the encyclopedia notes, the chat does not feel needs to be answered in any other competitive context.

"The Johnny hole"

A small but consistent late-2020 sub-form is the Johnny hole — referenced once by Evan Bbbender in the post-mortem:

"You know what the real tragedy of the Johnny hole was" — Evan Bbbender, 2020-11-26

The Johnny hole's content is not, in the corpus, specified, and the encyclopedia declines to guess. Its chief value as a record is that it confirms Johnny's position in the chat's social circle in 2020 was sufficient to merit a possessive proper-noun construction.

Johnny's house

Evan Bbbender confirms in-person attendance at Johnny's residence on 2020-10-16, in what is the chat's only documented in-Johnny-house cultural-product premiere:

"I did debut the deano Blandino song at Johnny's house" — Evan Bbbender, 2020-10-16

(Deano Blandino — likely a reference to the former NFL VP of Officiating Dean Blandino — is otherwise unattested in the corpus.)

Late-corpus

Johnny references decline sharply after 2022 and the name does not recur in the corpus past 2022-09-23:

"Johnny, our friend from the other side is pissed" — Daniel Miller, 2022-09-23

The construction "our friend from the other side" is preserved as the chat's last in-corpus Johnny-honorific.

See also

See also