Friday, September 11, 2020
https://twitter.com/desijed/status/1304156045418180608?s=10- Watch the vid
- I’m horny
Definitely tugging to that later
Those are asking for a pounding- Football is a microcosm of America
I’m moving this socially distanced, pre-recorded performance of the national anthem- fuck
- Did anyone just get an evacuation notice
- No...
- Weird, I did.
- There’s a lot of people at this game
- That’s not uuh good
- You live further south
- By like 5 miles
- Oregon City got one ear wit
- Earlier
- I’d know
- Shit guys
- I’m checking out real estate down there
- We might have to evacuate
- It says it’s for candy
- canby
- Feels like a bug
- I’d like to quote a...man
- Matt, fix it.
- “Eh, I rent. I’m from Buenos Aires and I say burn ‘em all”Evan Bbbender
Evacuate your balls instead- Fans are booing
- That’s reassuring
- Ooo hazardous
- tight
- Yeah I don’t like that
- Did Kelce lose weight?
- HB about to kick
- The man himself
- I’m calling a touchbackCullen Conway
- HB doesn’t miss
- David johnson 5 yards
- He looks really good
- Fuller drops it
- Classic Fuller
- I’m surprised he didn’t break his leg
- Fuller hurt on the play
- Lol
- Guys, NONE OF THE NOISE IS ARTIFICAL
- Jesus I’m kinda worried about the air quality now
- It’s the equivalent of a pack a day
- So a good time to take up smoking I guess?
- Is that so?
- What’s the equivalent of a pack
- How much uuh safer are we indoors?
- Much more
- Like a day outside?
- Well that feels better
- A day in that air quality
- Inside your air is better than out
- But after a few days of this, maybe not
- Well yeah but by how much?
- I don’t know, depends on your doors and a/c and all that
- That’s a hard man
- Bro
- Like many a/cs have air filters
- That’s a hard man
- I’ve got central air with a filter
- Oh man the chiefs are so damn good
- If y’all want to come breathe that sweet sweet air
- I might have heather and I go to my moms
- You have fresh air there?
- TD
- Robinson
- Oh boy mahomes is going to light it up
- Wait that wasn’t Hill?
- Well 🤷🏼♂️
- It was Demarcus my dawg
- It was
- He dropped it
- Lol mahomes is going to throw like 5 tds
- I was wondering if that was a drop
- Popped out
- No yht
- Kyle, I don’t want to hear about your intercourse anymore
- They are getting HB
- Oh yeah that’s no yht
- Is he about to be on the board
- HB is gonna have a yhontb
- It’s second down
- Would be weird for HB to kick here
- Oops
- Ohh a little sackedad
- Oh boy this is a long one
- Oh no
- Almost too long to kick
- Kyle’s oops is back
- Kyle you’re ahead
- And they punt
- He can’t stop looking at Robinson
- That sack fugged HB
- Kyle do you like those exotic looks?
- Dan are you in the lvl 1 evac zone now?
- My place smells smoky inside
- Despite windows all having been closed for 24 hours
- http://multco.maps.arcgis.com/apps/webappviewer/index.html?id=d8d1be6dd17342d096ea2091b9882125
- Getting pretty close
- Hmmm
- Not sure where I’m supposed to go?
- I ain’t goin nowhere!
- I’ve got a garden hose
- THIS IS MY LAND!
- Come at me fire
- I’LL DIE ON MY LAND
- Evan will piss the fire out
- https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/3779478666414858242
- The man really gets it doesn’t he?
- Am I supposed to just get in my car and drive north?
- Evan, you are no where near even level 1
- Yeah, I’m like 2 miles from it
- That map appears to be about the same as yesterday afternoon
- Fires can’t just burn a whole city down. Right?
- Seems unlikely
- But it is 2020
- Yeah I mean your house would probably be ok but it may also turn into a charred husk
- I mean on the macro scale of things dan is not very far from me
- This fire is massive
- Are people still protesting?
- Ya
- Protesting on fucking Mars
- Yes wheeler banned tear gas, again
- NO MORE MARS! No more Mars!
- But who needs tear gas, I can’t breathe the normal air
- Yeah the air is currently “hazardous”
- Can’t hang outside, can’t hang inside. We’re all out of sides
- Someone build the party doomsday bunker
- SimpsonsQOTD (@SimpsonsQOTD) Tweeted:
“Young man, your gargantuan cone is making a mockery of our self-serve policy.” https://t.co/E1clFQeyGa https://twitter.com/SimpsonsQOTD/status/1304397621352689664?s=2 - Heather and I were talking of driving to Olympia if the evac happens
- You guys wanna apocalypse party in Olympia?
- Why Olympia?
- It’s far north and it’s not Seattle
- Why does north matter? To escape the smoke?
- Yes?
- Air quality there is still “unhealthy”
- Damn how the fuck is a man supposed to escape this
- Head East
- Boise
- Eew Boise
- Underground
- It’s time Evan
- If only we dig that hole
- Cour de lane?
- Dig the hole
- Idaho isn’t a bad idea
- Coeur d’alene vacation time
- I have a shovel
- Guys they’ve got good air in coeur d’Alene
- They’re holding out on us
- Those sons of bitches
- I just got a notification that Evans house blew past evacuations levels 1 and 2 and is now at level 3
- Better head to Olympia
- Yup
- Idaho sturgis pt 2
- Smash mouth will be there
- Alright boys see you on the other side
- I’m packing up and heading to Sturgis
- Man, the Beachie Creek and Riverside fires are merging
- The map of those fires is wild
- It’s fucking huge
- 10% of Oregon population has been evacuated
- It’s white supremacy that started these firesCullen Conway
- Whose got a good map link?
- Gimme
- What? Are you serious Cullen? You believe that shit?
- https://www.oregon.gov/oem/emops/Pages/RAPTOR.aspx
- These fires are clearly a liberal hoaxCullen Conway
- This one takes a whole to load but it’s good
- How can white supremacy possibly be attributed to these wildfires
- I didn’t say it was
- Ok good
- Evan, you said that
- Oh shit is that my dude Howie Long?
- Like 3 messages agoCullen Conway
- Lol
- I’ve seen that movie!
- Howie is our only chance
- I was scrolling NYT and this article came up
- He is currently ready to jump behind enemy lines and extinguish this fire
- https://www.nytimes.com/2020/09/10/us/antifa-wildfires.html?action=click&module=Spotlight&pgtype=Homepage
- Antifa
- Omg
- I told it was Antifa yesterday !Cullen Conway
- Antifire
- Omg
- It’s been in plain site all along
- You think that campsite we were at was completely torched?
- Honestly, probably
- I think it started there
- It was the methane from all the soup
- I wish football was on today
- Paul J. Romero, Jr. for OREGON 🤠🇺🇸 (@PJR4Senate) Tweeted:
@DWLee333 @peabodyfmdev @realDonaldTrump @JennaEllisEsq @michael - https://twitter.com/PJR4Senate/status/1303592773715546114?s=20
- O the white supremacy thing was from Laurel’s Instagram
- Mike Evans back at practiceCullen Conway
- Still Chris godwin szn
- At this point, are we able to determine when the apocalypse is happening?
- https://twitter.com/zei_squirrel/status/1304421333254766598
- Or are we already too deep to differentiate?
- Air unbreathable, extremists murdering each other in the streets, pandemic raging, Tesla stock down 15%. It’s pretty much hel
- My thoughts exactly
- Also, today is national inside job day
- Everyone remember
- So should not even be walking my dog?
- Jet fuel doesn’t burn hot enough to melt steel beamsKyle Derrick
- Stewie will be fine
- But what about the children!?!
- Wish we could pack up and camp somewhere out east this weekend get the hell out of this shitDaniel Miller
- That would be lovely
- Can you imagine Biden’s America?Evan Bbbender
- We could be in a pandemic right now!!
- Any of you have an extra air purifier not in use?
- I ordered one of amazon, stupid Bezos delayed his delivery until Sunday 😟
- Useless!!!!
- USELESS!!
- Yeah everywhere I’ve looked is not available until like Tuesday
- Might as well choke
- Do your houses all smell like smoke inside?
- I have one but it plugs directly into my furnace/heat pump
- My downstairs smells like smoke
- My stairwell smells a bit like smoke
- Seems to be worse downstairs
- Yeah I just ordered 3 wall outlet plugin hepa filters
- May be worthless but I can get them today
- Well it ain’t getting better for a bit
- Probably until Tuesday at least
- I don’t feel like working
- Me either
- Despite the fact that I literally cannot leave my
House to do anything - Hard to work when your window is just orange smoke
- Exactly
- It’s like I’m working on Venus
- Minus the air being filled with ammonia and like 400 degrees outside
- But I haven’t been outside in a bit, so who knows
- Can confirm it’s 400 degrees outside
- That’s pretty hot!!
- It’s so fucking yellow outside
- Great
- We’re number one
- ☝️
- Feels great baby
- Was just outside for a second, can confirm air quality is poor
- Yeah I walked Stewie this morning
- It’s bad
- We made the top of the failing NYT
- Which is why all my co-workers have been asking if I’m burned today
- We’ve got 1 N95 mask for being outside
- We have a few if you need one
- Nah I’ll just use it for walking the dog and such
- It’s funny because everyone has all these cloth covid masks but they are useless for smoke
- Yeah I don’treally get that
- Matt, I might be interested in an N-95
- You merely adapted to the smoke. I was born in it. Molded by it2
- Damn bro that is a sick bane Halloween costume
- Why do you have that?
- I don’t really remember
- Just remembered it was in my garage
- Probably in the torture room
- Oh yeah I got it in Antifa super soldier trainingEvan Bbbender
- Is that where they taught you how to start wildfires
- Duh
- I got my Antifa merit badge in soup tossing
- And arson
- Antifa Scouts!
- Do you have the fire dancing merit badge?
- Excuse me we’re super soldiers not scouts
- Souper soldiers ayy
- Does that mean that you are a CUM?
- (Cybernetically Upgraded Male)
- If you’re referring to our satanic implants then yes
- Those are part of a suite of implants that most CUM receive, but that alone should be enough to classify you as such
- Anyone wanna have a bbq tonight?
- Good news for Nick Chubb, Dan
- Stefanski is calling their plays
- Go browns
- (He likes to run)
- Maybe not as much as mike zimmer who has repeatedly been talked down by assistant coaches from a “run-only” offense
- One of espn’s BOLD PREDICTIONS
- Big Chubb year
- Bold prediction, browns will be very bad again
- And win 4 games
- OBJ will throw a temper tantrum and quit mid season
- And retire to his toilet bowl
- For poopies on the face
- That’s a tired take bro
- Try a wired one
- Ok, here’s my take
- Myles Garrett is a standout with a perfect helmet-to-head rating
- https://twitter.com/SICKOFWOLVES/status/1304278932665954304
- Bro world is donzo
- It’s too late and there are too many greedy people
- Might as well cum while you can
- So the White House is ignoring calls about the fires, huh?
- Shall we blame crooked Kate?!?
- Crooked Kate’s at it again!!!
- I just invested all of money into DraftKings
- We are doubling down on fantasy here
- What could possibly go wrong?
- Let’s see your daily team
- I was referring to the stock not the actual game
- But maybe I’ll try that too
- O
- Well that’s fun
- https://twitter.com/darrenrovell/status/1304493179962613762?s=10
- damnt
- Did he win
- Yes
- I’m officially down from hazardous to unhealthy
- Very unhealthy*
- You are?
- My air
- Mice bro
- Mice bro
- Damnit
- 🐁 👨
- https://www.oregonlive.com/politics/2020/09/with-oregonians-evacuated-from-homes-worried-about-wildfires-gov-kate-brown-to-discuss-fires-spread-health-conditions-firefighting-plans-watch-live.htm
- Crooked Kate about to speak live
- Mice
- God dammit o just want to leave and take a walk
- You can’t
- It’s poison
- I just walked my dog
- Do it bro
- I feel a bit lightheaded
- ITS POISON
- 😈
- Smoke a pack while you walk
- Don’t you have N95?
- It might purify the air with the filter
- I have a mask with a particulate matter filter
- But I was smoking a joint so I wasn’t wearing it the whole time
- Evan Bbbender
- Whoa, mat is stocked
- I like to breathe
- I ain’t got time to breatheEvan Bbbender
- -former governor of Minnesota
- Big ted cruz fan cullen?
- He’s got the biggest zingers
- Our next Supreme Court Justice
- Evan Bbbender
- The real ‘never forget’ on 9/11
- 😈😈😈
- Ted Cruz seems like a closet homosexual to me
- Feels right
- That’s from an actual ad
- It’s true it happened this week
- Twice
- Yeah, I’m more shocked at the misspelling
- Oh noble haha
- That’s not the first time they’ve made that mistake either
- Is it?
- Maybe he’s getting a noble prize too you don’t know
- Big, if true