Blutos
A Portland, Oregon, Mediterranean sandwich shop and the unofficial home venue of the **[[Hoen Lunch]]**. Subject of the chat's longest-running and least-resolved restaurant debate.
Blutos
A Portland, Oregon, Mediterranean sandwich shop and the unofficial home venue of the Hoen Lunch. Subject of the chat's longest-running and least-resolved restaurant debate.
Blutos is the venue most strongly associated with Evan Bbbender in the corpus, to such an extent that "(Waits for Evan to suggest Blutos)" (Cullen Conway, 2026-03-12) functions as a complete sentence within the chat's idiolect. Eighteen direct mentions appear in the messages, the highest of any single eatery.
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First mention
The first reference is 2026-02-06, in which Evan opens the field:
"Blutos or something like mama khouris? I'm feeling medi." — Evan Bbbender
Within a week the field has narrowed, and by the time of "12:30? Blutos?" (Evan Bbbender, 2026-02-27) the venue is being proposed without alternatives.
Cultural role
Blutos serves three functions in the chat:
- The default. As Evan Bbbender wrote on 2026-04-02: "It's blutos dude it's always blutos." The line has been quoted back at him on multiple subsequent hoen days.
- The bit. Cullen Conway's running gag of pre-empting Evan's Blutos suggestion ("(Waits for evan to suggest Blutos)", 2026-03-12; "Oh, Blutos again", 2026-03-19) is among the most-laughed-at recurring threads in the chat.
- The infrastructure. On 2026-03-19, Evan Bbbender proposed "Let's bring blutos to Brian's office" — an attempt to convert Blutos from a destination to a delivery, which Daniel Miller partially endorsed ("I will consent to blutos or brians office") before the plan dissolved.
Notable instances
- The high-stakes hoen. Daniel Miller, on 2026-03-18: "He can't eat lunch a blutos with that much money on the line" — a sentence the encyclopedia is unable to gloss but documents in good faith.
- Hummus fards. On 2026-04-04, in the immediate aftermath of a successful Blutos hoen, Cullen Conway reported: "I'm ripping Blutos hummus fards". The post received the most uninterrupted run of love-tapbacks observed in that week.
- Unironic Blutos. Evan Bbbender, 2026-04-08: "Unironically blutos?" — a brief but genuine attempt to reset the discourse around Blutos to first principles.
The Cullen rule
Per Matt's 2026-04-02 declaration, "If Cullen is joining its Blutos otherwise it's Dimos". This protocol effectively makes Blutos a function of Cullen Conway's schedule and is consistently honored.