Thursday, November 5, 2020

Anyone wanna suck my Quentin Jammer?

I am

No half cums

Sadly they only offer a 10k and full cum

The 5k edger is the following weekend

Lol

I was just thinking that

He must have washed his armpits in the bathroom sink and gotten right back at it

You see the new PA projection by Nate Cohn of NYT?

He thinks it won’t be close

Biden win

2 point win conservative estimate

https://twitter.com/Nate_Cohn/status/1324130040414720001?s=01

Mail in ballots = voter fraud

It why Oregon has gone blue for the past 30+ years

All fraudulent votes

I’m not

Mingus McKringus

People hate Chloe

Wheeler was more surprising

He is the trump to Iararonnes Hilary

People didn’t like either of them

Yeah it was just shitty mayoral ticket

I should have ran

I would have cleaned up the homeless mess and instituted a citywide religion

What’s your stance on acab?

Also are you pro or anti Deebo

I’m waiting for Matt to say “acab”

It’s tough because you need a violent force of assholes to round up the homeless

What about a mushroom crazed mob?

A contemporary berserker

If you will

Perhaps the homeless just need more mushrooms

The measure to decriminalize drugs is going to work wonders when it comes to reducing our homeless population

I agree

They can finally relax a bit

The camp near the sunshine dairy warehouse is clearly a bike chop shop

Amongst other stolen goods

I’d like to take vigilante action against them

But what’s your stance on Deebo?

Always a Deebo day in my mind

And having a Deebo day?

You’ve won my vote

I thought it was 33

That’s a dark baby

😈

That’s the one

That’s a lotta hair

Guys if Biden wins does anyone want to use it as an excuse to get totally blasted?

I need the senate to flip too

Before harsh mask mandates, small increases in taxes to the uber wealthy and limited access to universal healthcare ruin our lives as we know it

Or at least be 50/50

I’ll get blasted

I didn’t hit the scotch last night but I’m leaning toward it tonight

Hit my dinger

That’s CNN

Until he has a heart attack from 24 + hours of hardcore mapping

That’s a light mapping session for map guy

The line likes Biden, eh?

Trump is so confident that he’s going to win in MI, PA, and GA that’s he’s suing each state to stop the counting

He’s really going to go out kicking and screaming isn’t he

Oh my yes

Like the man child he is

But it’s more fun that way anyhow

Then the lawsuits and civil suits come crashing down on him and his family

He will unleash the proud boys and all his cronies to real havoc for the fraud that stole the election

And he dies penniless, without allies and alone

That’s how I cum

Then the violence comes

Not a chance

His party disavows him the second he’s out of office

What?

The politicians

They throw him away like a used tampon

Yes

Not his supporters

They’re absolutely done with him

They will be frothing at the mouth

I think you’re wrong

His supporters don’t mean shit anymore

Done mean shit?

To themselves?

They are gonna be pissed, furious

His political connections move on but his supporters don’t that quickly

Is my guess

What can they do? Just be racist?

Evan, you were predicting violence if Trump won

I would argue it’s way more likely this way

Look man, I’ve found 38/80 sashimono banners in ghost of Tsushima and all I need to know right now is where they other 42 are

He’s been inciting hate and violence the entire presidency. He’s now telling them he lost due to fraud, which will be the next trigger

Excellent question

God I hope not

I hope he’s penniless/dead by then

They’re interviewing people on npr about how they’re dealing with all the stress and some dude just said by drinking lots and lots of manhattans

Mmmm

I’m not

PA down to 200k lead

Was 600+k earlier today

Many votes left yo count

This counting of votes seems problematic

Go on

They should cease counting

GA 👀

Democrat won the Senate race in MI

That’s good news

You all enjoying John Lewis’ Georgia and McCain’s AZ - two guys trump loved to drag - might be the nails in his coffin?

Maaaaan

This is heating up

What is?

Is the tweet storm taking place

The tightness in Georgia is exciting my pp

Oh he Colin’

Comin’

He knockin’ at the door

Well Dan you didn’t get 350

122,535 ballots remain inGA

Trump only up 44k

Why not get hot right now?

Channeling your inner Mr U are you?

*36k

I'm actually using divining stones and rat entrails to prognosticate the election while dripping hot oils on Amanda

https://twitter.com/lib_crusher/status/1324160823900753920

I just found myself watching Devin Hester return highlights as a break from it all

Is Biden edging Trump?

Edging?

Man dk looks so much bigger than budda baker

AZ narrowing a bit

Dan, how should we feel

https://twitter.com/TheOnion/status/1324143176517586945

They tried!

They/we just kept getting duis

And I blame the boomers for making dui laws harsher

Dui here

I’ve got a good 15 years without a dui

I’m going on 9 or so here

Crazy how time flies

When you’re not getting duis

It’s boring

Booooring

Cullen updated projections

How’re we looking in Georgia

North Carolina

And pawnsylvania?

I’ve stoned and I’ve been checking the needle for hours and marveling at it’s stability

Turns out they stopped updating it long ago

How are we looking

AZ is scaring me a bit

https://twitter.com/gadinbc/status/1324187296984231936?s=10

These folks are furious that votes are being counted

Love that

https://twitter.com/davenewworld_2/status/1324190681062060032?s=10

Leeeee so true bruh

Why is az scaring you

Because Phoenix

Cha cu cu puh weenis

Nah, it just narrowed a bit in the last vote Dumo

And trump can still do it mathematically

But it’s quiche night here

Mmmm

Fish quiche?

I ate Mac n cheese and Halloween candy

Also love that

https://twitter.com/drmistercody/status/1324182181116215296

Whoa

So true my guy

Except RGB doesn’t go to heaven

Because she’s Jewish

And dead

And also heaven isn’t real

Evan, might this stoke this flames at all?

I love this

It’s so fucking dumb

The last bolded line mainly, not sure you can see it in the thumbnail

FIGHT BACK

GA now within 30k

Chum

Is there any sign of a page Kanye surge

Like a Trump-Biden mirage type of thing

Eat my cunt

Whoa

Dan when does Nevada get decided

Dan vacations in Sedona not Reno

I don’t care

Love that

Stop the steal chants

STOP COUNTING VOTES!

While trump is still potentially making a comeback

STOP COUNTING VOTES!

Well, I don’t think cops normally identify as acabs

CNN has a Latina woman talking about the Hispanic vote fell short for Biden because they fled communism and a leftist candidate invokes trauma

Mmmm yeah that makes sense

I think Biden is within 15k in GA

Damnit, if only the damn needle were working

Mine too

But, to be fair, Trump also claimed it on twitter a while ago

I think Az and NV does it

Without Georgia

It does

He has a lot of avenues

But as a Vikings fan

I’ve seen this fall apart

Good lord

CNN just put on a map guy replacement

Wait if Arizona holds doesn’t he just need Nevada

Doesn’t hold a flame to map guy

It’s really quite upsetting

I guess 264+6=270

New map guy sucks

But man, he’s a young Bick

A true protégés

Joe Bick

Human fuck machine

https://twitter.com/traecrowder/status/1324221493572587521?s=10

LOL

YMCA!

I can’t stop farting

*farding

I keep thinking it’s shid but nope just fard

Is Biden going to force me to become trans? 😭

What if he forces me to become latinex

😭😭😭

Did you? What changed

But I used to be too

Excellent reference

Why can’t Nevada hurry up I’m tired of edging

https://twitter.com/briebriejoy/status/1324234360602742789

Yeah but nothings going to come of that

The results will show who wins it

Biden is closing that gap in PA tho

https://twitter.com/PFTCommenter/status/1324204411716046849

https://twitter.com/KellyO/status/1324372366974160897

Trump’s dead!

That’s some North Korea shit

Haha I’m sure she means “in the race” but amateur move putting that quote up to be taken out of context

I know, it’s great

Did the AP give Biden Arizona too early?

Dan why didn’t you do voter fraud in Arizona to help Biden?

Yeah trump is climbing up there

If you’re looking for some action this AM

Wow they’re really high on Biden in PA

Dude they have been

That’s a big Oregon duck

How many people in AZ voted with sharpies?!

I’m happy to report that map guy is still crushing it

You think he knew he was in for a 5 day map bender?

And if so, do you think he quietly whispered, “I love for this shit” before rolling up a paper of county polling data and snorting half a gram of ⛽️ 🔥

I think he did

I think he does bumps between commercial breaks

Also, if Biden wins, i’m going to start running around screaming “WELCOME TO BIDENS AMERICA” and throwing money st everyon

HERE’S YOUR SOCIAL WELFARE MONEY, LOSER. NOW SIT ON YOUR COUCH, MORE HANDOUTS NEXT WEEK

Honestly though, things are still going to get worse

If trump loses any of his base will not accept that the election was won fairy

Yeah he’s not exactly inheriting the same thing Trump did

They can take that shit to the courts then

They will

And lose

But even if they lose there it won’t change the bases mind

That’s what I was saying yesterday

It doesn’t matter

They can’t do anything

This will
Forever be known as the democrats stealing the election

And Evan was saying that they will forget about him

What are they going to do, occupy the White House

The proud boys can come to town

His die hards won’t but Washington will

Washington will she’s him like a snake shedding it’s skin

Shake*

The guys consistently intimidating my parents in rural MN could get violent

People like that

Yes

Or proud boys

These proud boys?

Because of the way trump has acted the country will only continue to grow more and more seperate

I’m not worried about those losers but I am sorry to hear that about your parents

That is scary

My dad has his gone ready

Gun

Yeah that’s scary

Is it a bren gun?

It’s me bren gun

He’s had his wildlife motion sensor up and caught guys stalking through their woods and driveway at night

Whoa

https://youtu.be/7qEe6NW_9Os

That is scary

That has to be intentional? Like they live in a remote area right?

But nobody ducks with Mel Gibson

Fucks

Then the night he moved it for deer season they ripped out their mailbox, smashed their garbage cans, destroyed some other shit and through it all into different riches

So they saw it and waited for it to be moved before returning

*threw, diches

Nope

What is it

Oh good

The cesspool of Reddit

Almost as bad as r/politics

Yeah I have a distant relative who is already posting Batshit stuff on Facebook

Facebook? I haven’t heard that name in years

I still spend far too much time on Instagram

Which is Facebook lite

So I’m in no position to claim I’m boycotting anything

But then again, I don’t know shit about fuck

Well he extended his lead in NV

Yeah I saw that

But 12k isn’t a large margin

He needs to win by 💯

If he’s getting that rate each return he’s fine

One hunnid

Fight and 3 shots fired last night at swift

That area is HOT

I swear there’s always some violence over there

Or free cocaine from the passenger window

Yeah it’s weird because I have been there a fair amount late night and never seen any sort of altercations

Though less so on last couple years

Which is when I’ve seen info about the violence occurring

https://twitter.com/ralstonreports/status/1324415080226643971?s=10

Yes

But what about AZ?

Lol just wait for that to happen

But AZ!!!

Love that

https://twitter.com/DaveMasonBOL/status/1324432207549792258

God bless America

We love gambling

Alright which one of you dead guys voted

I took my ballot to kinkos

1000 votes for Gucci Mane

Beautiful

Did you watch the video of him submitting his ballot to the machine?  He only voted for himself and left everything else blan

The man knows what he believes in

https://twitter.com/jasonscampbell/status/1324478272734986241?s=10

That is actually unbelievable

Biden down less than 10k in Georgia tho

Oh I know

And PA is rolling too

Rolling on these titties

Yeah

Have you just been jerking it to the needle all day

The needle is dead

The stopped updating it but it took a long time for my stoned ass to notice last night

Know what’s not dead? Fucking map guy

Good lord

That is so accurate

With the national guard needing to be sent in

Dan I want to update my resume what do good programmer resumes look like nowadays?

Damn I really didn’t want to reactivate my LinkedIn

Some dude on my team w/a higher title than me got promoted to mgmt, I’d like to force them to give me that title and $$ but I think they figure I’m basically doing the same job for my current salary so another offer would probably secure it for m

Or I just go get more $ elsewhere, whatever

I’d really like to force them to promote me before the baby is born and then actually look for a job some time next year

We’ll see how that goes

Like a month but I’m not sure another company would offer that immediately?

Also we already hit our deductible on the insurance + that goes until next June, so sticking with my current insurance would be goo

yep

Y’all gonna watch trump speak?

Is it a victory speech?

It might be

He might say he’s won

Now

Well, it’s supposed to start any second

April is speaking

People online questioning if he’s going to incite violence

Do you think we could get a Map Guy-AOC ticket in 2028?

AOC-Map Guy

I can’t believe what he’s saying right now

I can’t listen to this

This is pretty muted so far

His Wednesday night speech was worse

I expect him to go off script soon tho

I’m definitely worried about Arizona but hopeful for PA damn this is nerve wracking

GA too bro

It looks p good

Yeah it’ll be down to the wire

I don’t think so

I think GA and PA get called today

Hooo boy

Stressful

Especially if AZ flips back

Bro have you been watching?

Yes

Now he’s finding his corruption stride

God he seems tired

Just dragging through this