Three Martini Lunch
The Three Martini Lunch is Cullen Conway's May 13, 2026 declaration that the summer 2026 Newfound Glory Hole hoen calendar will be conducted under elevated standards.
Three Martini Lunch
The Three Martini Lunch is a doctrinal statement issued by Cullen Conway at 17:31 UTC on May 13, 2026, immediately following his proposal of Sunday Sauce and "their garlic bread martini on the dinner menu" (see The Garlic Bread Martini). It comprises a single sentence:
"Three martini lunch is back for the summer."
Antecedents
The chat had begun preparing for this doctrine in early March, during what Kyle Derrick (March 4, 2026) called "Portland dining month, sandwich week, espresso martini month." On that same day:
"Espresso martini MONTH" — Evan Bbbender
"I'm sort that is crazy espresso martinis get as much of the calendar as African Americans and 30x indigenous peoples" — Evan Bbbender
Kyle followed up three days later with the related innovation of "making a boy martini," a beverage of unspecified composition that has not since recurred.
Implications
Three Martini Lunch is generally read as the formal repeal of any lingering "1 beer 0 lunch" or one cocktail with a sandwich discipline, in favor of a maximalist summer-only program. The doctrine has not yet been operationalized as of this writing.