Hail Mary (film)
A motion picture that, as of the publication of this article, no member of the Newfound Glory Hole has seen, despite **five separate organized attempts** to do so over the course of five weeks.
Hail Mary (film)
A motion picture that, as of the publication of this article, no member of the Newfound Glory Hole has seen, despite five separate organized attempts to do so over the course of five weeks.
Hail Mary is a recently released film whose primary role in the corpus is as the object of the chat's most sustained and least productive collective scheduling effort. The film has been proposed in the thread seven times, beginning 2026-03-17, and as of this writing it remains, by all evidence, unwatched.
Proposal history
The full sequence of proposals is:
- 2026-03-17 — Evan Bbbender: "Hail Mary this weekend?"
- 2026-03-23 — Daniel Miller asks the chat "Did you guys end up seeing Hail Mary", the answer to which is no.
- 2026-03-30 — Evan: "Any of you penises want to see Hail Mary next weekend?" — using the chat's accepted form of address (see Sir Penis the Hard).
- 2026-04-01 — Evan: "I still need to see Hail Mary".
- 2026-04-03 — Evan: "Do any of you guys want to see Hail Mary tomorrow".
- 2026-04-07 — Evan, in a moment of reverse-leverage: "Maybe we'll go see exit 8 or project Hail Mary just to oppose you guys".
- 2026-04-22 — Evan, the final proposal: "All you guys seen Hail Mary? Heather and I were talking about going on Saturday if anyone is interested".
Pattern
All seven proposals are issued by Evan Bbbender. The chat's other six members have, in five weeks, generated zero counter-proposals, zero attended showings, and no recorded confirmation that anyone besides Evan has thought about the film in the interim. By the final proposal Evan is hedging with the alternative film Exit 8, a concession Wikipedia editors have observed in similar long-running coordination failures.
Cultural function
The Hail Mary problem is widely interpreted, by other members but never by Evan, as a referendum on the chat's ability to do anything other than hoen. It is the closest the group has come to acknowledging that the format of meeting for lunch has, over five months, achieved roughly 100% of activities its members are actually willing to sustain.