Friday, April 24, 2026

Cullen, any dank parlays on the draft?

Or did Gamblor not whisper in your ear today

https://x.com/swiftyoutube_/status/2047399363375251861?s=46

Eat more sushi any man ever seen

1pm, Dimos, then slice ride. Let’s fuck.

I could be down

The EVO slice looks dank

Does EVO still give you free beer when you try shit on?

No

Ooo closeout deals

Do they still give you free K while you try shit on?

Nevermind that was Ross

Absolute peak spring day boys

Does it ripping through the toilet paper count?

Kyle, your ripping through the toilet paper seems intentional at this point tbh, so yes it counts

How would you know my intent when I’m wiping my ass?

It’s to maximize pleasure

Bingo

It’s a straightforward test: did you fingers enter the bunghole? If so it counts and intent doesn’t matter

Cullen clearly said intentional

Which means intent matters

I’m applying a different test

Fair enough

My test is how deep the finger goes

First finger knuckle = doesn’t count

Intriguing

Second finger knuckle = coin toss

The “Anna Nicole smith” method

I don’t get that but I like it

Clearly the science isn’t settled on this matter and we need further research

Eh just frantically tried to remember someone in porn

And Bonnie blue didn’t really seem appropriate

Anna Nicole smith did porn?

I thought she just married old men for money

She was a playboy bunny but I’m not aware of anything beyond that

I thought she did porn too?

Ah ok

Opportunity squandered for banger joke then

Yeah playboy doesn’t count as porn

Yeah definitely not

Now buttman on the other hand…

If that slit ain’t creamin’
Keep on dreamin’

D1

Division 1 pizza

Dux

Yeah let’s confirm again in an hour

It’s the perfect day for the middle aged iron man
-5 mile run
-5 mile dog walk
-10 mile bike ride
-9 beers 1 pizza

Humble brag

Perfect day to wrap up some last minute deliverables before the weekend

The life of a 47 year old man

I think my coworker forgot to tell Claude make no mistakes

I might hop on my bike a little early and head down for a cheeky pint

Dimos Apussy

What did you get

We’re waiting for pizza

Are you guys doing a pizza crawl leading up to Alysa’s party?

We’re gonna crawl as far as we can

Pfriem is getting jealous

I think I might be free to suckyfucky

Where’s the next spot?

We’re going to be at Dimos for a while

Ok I’m coming

Where are you

He’s coming

Kyle come fuck

Sadly in working still

(Cranking hog)

We’re hitting the rooftop bar

Dope

Have an ectoplasm for me

Alright guys, heading to Dimos!