Tuesday, May 3, 2022
My house, currently in escrow, has become a homeless drug den.- I’ve been tasked with going there tonight to scare them off
Fuck
Seriously?- Yea. Police won’t come. Neighbors are out there with guns.
- Apparently it’s getting heated
- What the fuck
- Why would they leave if you told them to?
- Like how could you possibly make it better
- I know acab and everything but how ridiculous is it that you can’t get the police to remove squatters from your house
- Also crazy to me how fast that can happen
- Yeah I’ve only been out of there a few weeks
- What’s your plan?
- Show up at the house and say “hey guys I’m the owner plz leave thx so much”
- I guess get a cooler of beers and sit on my porch for a few hours
- They aren’t there all the time
- Which makes this even harder
- That’s awful dude
- The police said they are only responding to violent crimes.
- It’ll be ok
- I’m not entirely sure what to do
- Kyle are you still running, eat the homeless program?
- You should have told the police that there was going to be a violent crime when you kill all the homeless people in your house
- Alright , let be more direct. Who wants to go a homeless camp that used to be my house and drink in the dark
Do you know how they’re getting in?- Are the neighbors going to lend you some guns?
- No and maybe. Gotta go over there and scope it out
- This sounds like a fun endeavor but I have a pretty busy day tomorrow
- I would but it’s heathers birthday
- But I’m free tomorrow!!
- Have they done much damage yet?
- Doubtful.
- Likely neighbors being overly dramatics
- People get heated about this stuff
- That’s wild I doubt anyone will come around if it looks like someone is home hopefully
#eatthehomeless- Is it possible to take inspiration from the movie Home Alone in this situation?
- I believe booby traps are illegal unfortunately
- Tiddies
- Tiddie trap
- Tiddie traps are legal
- Trap is no longer the preferred nomenclature though
- This really irks me
- Because there is literally nothing you can do except violence
- Which then makes you a criminal
- And e en if you get rid of them once, they will probably just come back another time
- Didn’t the same thing happen at your other house when you sold it?
- Yes
- Very similar
- It won’t happen in the burbies tho
- Evan, would this happen in the suburbs?
- It looks as though it did happen in the suburbs
- It did
- Evan, did you get that Gumba meatabalio?
- I did
- It was yummy
- https://twitter.com/politico/status/1521288272021901312?s=21&t=M4Nci8vKZGv-6ssezJxbwg
- Lol what I’m gods name is this madness
- In*
- This is the most backwards shit in a minute
- Any bros want to see the Northman tomorrow?
- Bored dick cum clubDaniel Miller
- Honestly, that would sell
- That would sell hard
- I agree
- I’d maybe even buy one
- I just mutated my bored dick and now it cums flames
- https://twitter.com/drboycewatkins1/status/1521528488423006210?s=21&t=v1VBjC4wMrRsTRCsSEC77Q
- This is a very reasonable and measured take
- It is also true that nobody has ever had sex against their will
- https://twitter.com/dril/status/1520683383369527302
- The cheapest bored ape is like $300,000, please
- How was the showdown in SE last night Dan?
- Dan sodomized those junkies and sent them packinEvan Bbbender
- A successful night out
- a good time was had by all
- way more sodomy than I expected.
- Apparently my neighbor has been walking around their car waving his revolver in the air.
- VERY COOL
- You never told us you lived next to Yosemite Sam
- Damnit
- We need more neighbors like this
- Nice guy in my experience
- I was being sincere
- Can’t let those junkies do whatever they want
- That’s how we got in this mess to begin with
- (Amongst other reasons)
- Wait, are you suggesting the homelessness problem is the result of people not Yosemite Samming more.
- Not quite
- It’s more of a cause and effect
- The Yosemite Sam action is a result of our city/state/country failing to address rampant homelessness/drug addiction
- And now we must #eatthehomeless
- Kyle you watched some junkies steal your neighbors shit like yesterday why not be the change you want to see Batman?
- If I was a rich playboy of course I would
- Sadly, I am not
- And I don’t have a gun so I cannot even be the punisher
- Imma feckless limp duck