Heather (disambiguation)
The proper noun **Heather** appears **300 times** in the corpus and refers to at least **two distinct entities** — a person (Evan Bbbender's wife) and a Portland restaurant.
Heather (disambiguation)
The proper noun Heather appears 300 times in the corpus and refers to at least two distinct entities — a person (Evan Bbbender's wife) and a Portland restaurant.
The word Heather in the Newfound Glory Hole can refer to either:
Heather (person)
The wife of Evan Bbbender and the most-mentioned non-member in the corpus by a substantial margin. Her name appears continuously from September 11, 2020 (Evan: "I might have heather and I go to my moms") through to 2026, accounting for nearly all of the 300 Heather mentions in the chat. Notable references:
- "I might have heather and I go to my moms" — Evan Bbbender, 2020-09-11. The earliest mention in the corpus.
- "Heather has had an embargo on ranch recently and it's pissing me off" — Evan Bbbender, 2020-09-18. The first established record of marital negotiation in the chat.
- "Do any of you dickheads want to go to Sunday sauce Saturday evening? Heather and I are thinking of going" — Evan Bbbender, 2026-02-04. The chat's most polite invitation on record.
- "Heather is having a craft night Friday i think are you dame-free?" — Evan Bbbender, 2026-02-19. The first message to establish that Matt has a child named Dame (Matt confirms within minutes: "Yeah Dame is staying at grandmas").
- "Me, talking to Heather after having 9 drinks at the rooftop bar, explaining how 'lowkey' my afternoon was" — Evan Bbbender, 2026-04-17. The only message in the chat to receive a laughed tapback specifically from Cullen Conway, who is otherwise stingy with that reaction.
- "All you guys seen Hail Mary? Heather and I were talking about going on Saturday if anyone is interested" — Evan Bbbender, 2026-04-22. See Hail Mary (film) for the broader context of this proposal.
Heather (restaurant)
A Portland restaurant of recent vintage, mentioned by Matt over two messages on 2026-02-28:
"Heather opened today?" "Yeah I just saw an instagram post where they said 'Heather finally opened' but it wasn't clear if they meant it was open today or not" — Matt, 2026-02-28
The discussion produced an unusually granular subthread about staffing, as recorded by Evan Bbbender:
"It's crazy Heather sister just got a job there a few months ago, she's extremely liberal and I really want to know how she feels about this" — Evan Bbbender, 2026-02-28
Whether the Heather sister refers to a sibling of Evan's wife Heather or a sibling of the restaurant's namesake is, in the corpus, ambiguous.
A note on disambiguation
The chat universally trusts context to disambiguate the two Heathers. No member has ever asked which Heather is meant. The encyclopedia regards this as a kind of natural-language miracle and declines to interfere.